Old 10-22-2007, 07:46 AM Offline   #1 (permalink)



 
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I get a phone call today from an ex-football player(use to coach him when he was a freshman and junior) of mines. I thought he was going to call me for a grading performance of his game, but his voice was real shakey. Come to find out his guardian just put him out the house. His fault because he stayed out past his curfew, but he still a 17 year old kid. But whatever, he asked to stay with me. Said his social worker needs me to sign some papers, and that I would get paid by the state for the amount of time he stays here. Ehh, suppose to meet the lady around 11, and pick him up after football practice. Now before I agreed to let him stay with me, that only thing I ask is that he keep me informed on his whereabouts.
Being that I'm 26 and he's 17, any other guidelines I should have him follow? Give him a curfew? No gurls can stay the night? No drinking? Things like that. This thread is intended for people 24 and up.
Thanks for the input.
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Old 10-22-2007, 07:56 AM Offline   #2 (permalink)

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make it clear that although ya'll may be cool he is NOT ur room mate but ur guest so whatever u say goes ... he must abide by anything u request ...

i wouldnt put a set time for company simply because if its 8:00 and he wants to have his buddies over and u havin ur ppl over or u jus got a headache and dont feel like hearin ppls mouths - he cant say "Well u said i can have company until 11:00 ..." instead id jus say ask before u have company ...
thats no big deal - i dunno about u but i went from livin alone to livin w/a female and her kid and sometimes i jus wish they would go somewhere so i can relax in silence like i used too ... it could be 5 in the afternoon and i feel like that ...

but most importantly make it clear he aint ur room mate - u are the one that makes the rules ...
very charitable thing to do though ...
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Old 10-22-2007, 07:56 AM Offline   #3 (permalink)



 
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you need to keep a tight leash because you're liable for anything he does as his guardian

ive seen some fucked up shit happen through the foster care system to parents that let the kids do as they wish (i know its a different situation, but im just saying)

def no drinking, drugs, women at the crib after a certain hour

remind him that you're helping him, so he best not complain

and leave any liquor in your bedroom so he doesnt have easy access to it
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:06 AM Offline   #4 (permalink)

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Be realistic, let him know you know he drinks but you dont want that shit done in front of you because then it becomes your problem. Also no drugs in the house.
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:09 AM Offline   #5 (permalink)



 
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Originally Posted by fur View Post
make it clear that although ya'll may be cool he is NOT ur room mate but ur guest so whatever u say goes ... he must abide by anything u request ...

i wouldnt put a set time for company simply because if its 8:00 and he wants to have his buddies over and u havin ur ppl over or u jus got a headache and dont feel like hearin ppls mouths - he cant say "Well u said i can have company until 11:00 ..." instead id jus say ask before u have company ...
thats no big deal - i dunno about u but i went from livin alone to livin w/a female and her kid and sometimes i jus wish they would go somewhere so i can relax in silence like i used too ... it could be 5 in the afternoon and i feel like that ...

but most importantly make it clear he aint ur room mate - u are the one that makes the rules ...
very charitable thing to do though ...
For sure. I'm going to pick him after practice. Take him to eat and go over some things. I agree with the timetable for company. Let me know before you bring someone over(I would rather him be in the house at night, and not in the streets to be honest). And I like what you said about the roommate thing. I'm going to let him know its just coach and player. Since we had a good relationship, I always expected more from him. So I know Im going to ride him for his grades, behavior, etc. But good looking Fur

Originally Posted by Saucenah View Post
you need to keep a tight leash because you're liable for anything he does as his guardian

ive seen some fucked up shit happen through the foster care system to parents that let the kids do as they wish (i know its a different situation, but im just saying)

def no drinking, drugs, women at the crib after a certain hour

remind him that you're helping him, so he best not complain

and leave any liquor in your bedroom so he doesnt have easy access to it
And your right Sauce. Ole boy a minor, I cant have him partying with my friends. And no joke, I be hurt if something happen to him. So yeah, we got a lot of things to talk about. Thanks for the input
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:11 AM Offline   #6 (permalink)



 
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Originally Posted by blingz View Post
Be realistic, let him know you know he drinks but you dont want that shit done in front of you because then it becomes your problem. Also no drugs in the house.
I dont know if he drinks chief. I'm just saying things like that can't be happening at the house.. At all actually
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:15 AM Offline   #7 (permalink)

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Originally Posted by International Champ View Post
I dont know if he drinks chief. I'm just saying things like that can't be happening at the house.. At all actually
Hes 17, I'm sure he does. And you can't control whether he drinks or not, the more you say no the more will make him want to...kids heads are fucked up. My pops accepted that I drank (which was pretty rare in highschool cause my stomach doesn't accept alcohol) but he said as long as you don't do it in front of me or drive we're good. If he didn't know about he can't be held liable for it in the court of law. I respected that and never let him know. I'd ask him not to do it at the house but telling him not to do it at all wont work. But do you.
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:21 AM Offline   #8 (permalink)



 
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Originally Posted by blingz View Post
Hes 17, I'm sure he does. And you can't control whether he drinks or not, the more you say no the more will make him want to...kids heads are fucked up. My pops accepted that I drank (which was pretty rare in highschool cause my stomach doesn't accept alcohol) but he said as long as you don't do it in front of me or drive we're good. If he didn't know about he can't be held liable for it in the court of law. I respected that and never let him know. I'd ask him not to do it at the house but telling him not to do it at all wont work. But do you.
Really cant control him if he's drinking. But I also can let it be known that he an athlete, and drinking is doing nothing positive for his body. But I will take that appoach to. Your almost an adult, know that your going to have to be a man accept the choices you make.. So good looking out Blingz
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Old 10-22-2007, 08:29 AM Offline   #9 (permalink)

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Originally Posted by International Champ View Post
Really cant control him if he's drinking. But I also can let it be known that he an athlete, and drinking is doing nothing positive for his body. But I will take that appoach to. Your almost an adult, know that your going to have to be a man accept the choices you make.. So good looking out Blingz
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Exactly, I mean let him know don't do that shit in season (most of my friends (athletes) didn't) but if you're gonna drink do it smart. Kids just drink to be cool/rebel at first so if you let him know you don't give a fuck as long as he handles himself like an adult then he'll hopefully have a different view about it. I've never gotten blacked out/in trouble with cops/hurt myself through drinking and i gotta give that mostly to my pops for letting me know.

My pops also said you can be out till 12 but if you're out later I expect a phone call. I realize you're in cali so environment may be a little different.

Give him a lot of freedom with a lot of control, I know alot of my friends were sheltered pretty hardcore and so once they got freedom they absolutely shitted on their lives with drugs/sex/alcohol where as I probably had the most freedom and I didn't drink that much, didn't even smoke weed till last year. Shit just didn't seem that big of a deal to me as everyone else made it out to be in highschool.

Good luck though.
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Old 10-22-2007, 09:03 AM Offline   #10 (permalink)



 
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no input, just wanted to say that's some cool shit.........
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